Peeping Tom, Shroy Tuvok ~ part vi
 
 
 
Part VII ~ B'Elanna

"Carey!" I yell.  "Where's that hydrospanner?  And why haven't they brought the new warp coils up?"

"They're on their way," my section's equivalent to a first officer calls back.  "And here:  catch..."  I stick my head out from under the console just long enough to catch the hydrospanner, then notice Chakotay, who's standing there, looking like a lost puppy.

"What do you want, Chakotay?" I ask abruptly.  I'm not in such a great mood:  he's got a lot of nerve coming down here, seeing as he's the one who crashed the shuttle.

"How's it coming?" he squats down near my feet so I can see his face, even from my position on my back.

"Oh, swell," I answer, wiping the sweat off my forehead with the back of my hand.  "We'll should be able to get her back together about a week before Voyager gets home... Vorik!"

"Yes, Lieutenant?" the Vulcan approaches calmly.  He's probably the only one who isn't sweating in the entire shuttlebay.

"Check the environmental controls."

"I did per your orders ten minutes ago.  They are operating within optimum levels."

"Well, turn up the cold air anyway," I shoot back.  "The shuttlebay's not exactly made to hold ten sweaty engineers at a comfortable temperature, let alone twenty."

"As you wish, Lieutenant."  Vorik turns to go, and Chakotay helps me to my feet:

"Does Tom know that you're lying under a console?" he asks.  I bite back the expletive that wants to shoot out of my mouth.  I'm starting to sound like more like my mother every day:

"No, and you'd better not tell him.  He'll tell the Doctor and I'll never get either of them off my back," I type a few commands into the console I just repaired, then turn toward the shuttle's only exit:  "Nicoletti!"  I watch the young woman sprint through the hatch:

"Yes, ma'am?"

"I've got the sensor array back up," I inform her.  "Go through the diagnostics and send the files from the away mission to Harry.  The Captain's going to want to know why this shuttle crashed."

"Understood."  I push past Susan and into the Shuttlebay, where most of my crew is working.  Chakotay is practically stepping on my heals:

"Do you have a reason for coming down here or are you trying to get in the way?" I ask, stopping at a console, noting our progress in my log.

"I thought that I'd come down and stand over your shoulder since the Captain's unavailable," he noted.  If I didn't know him any better, I would have thought that he was completely serious.  I snort in reply.  He continues:  "Actually, I was hoping that we could have lunch together.  You free?"

"Not really," he follows me to the nacelle, where I kneel to check Carey's work.  I nod, then stand and move on:  "But I promised Tom that I'd get three square meals a day.  I guess that I could fit you in."  I turned to face my oldest friend (that is, the friend that I've had the longest):  "Let me take a shower, and I'll meet you in the mess hall in fifteen minutes."  Chakotay nods:

"Alright:  I'll see you then."
 
 
 

"On second thought," he mumbles.  "Maybe this isn't such a good idea."

"Oh no you don't!" I grab his wrist before he can stand and leave.  "You dragged me up here, and you're not leaving until you talk to me."  He sits down looking beaten, and I let go of his wrist.  "What did she do this time?"

"She took it back," he replied.  "She finally admitted that she loved me, and then she took it back."

"You're kidding?"

"No," he shakes his head.  "She acted like it never happened."

"Are you sure that she remembers?" I ask.  "I mean, she was injured pretty badly..."

"She knows," he replies.  I sit back, allow my hand to lie over swollen stomach, over my baby girl.  She's doing summersaults.

"I'm sorry."  It's all that I can say.

"But it's more than that," he tells me.  "I got mad at her, exploded everything that I've been carrying around for the past couple of years."

"What did she say?" I ask.  He shrugs:

"At first she wouldn't even talk to me, but later she told me that I was right.  That's when she told me that she loves me."  I shake my head, amazed:

"Sounds to me like she's scared," I tell him.

"What?" he asks, incredulous.

"She's scared," I reply matter-of-factly.  "I pushed Tom away for so long, when all I really wanted was for him to love me as much as I loved him."

"You're kidding, right?"

"No," I shake my head.  "Did you tell her that you love her?"

"I didn't have the chance."  I sigh, wondering how someone so smart could act so stupid:

"She's been alone for a long time, Chakotay," I tell him.  "She doesn't know how you feel, that you're going to love her back.  She can't afford to let her guard down and then find out that you just wanted a one-night-stand like the ones you had with Kellin, with that Frasier woman..."

"Now that's not fair..."

"Isn't it?" I ask.  "Underneath her tough exterior, there's a scared woman inside."  I pause, remembering how I felt when Tom was the one pursuing me:  "If she lets you in, she could be setting herself up for a lot more pain than she's already known.  What's she supposed to do if you break her heart?  She can't exactly transfer you to another ship..." I pause.  "That may not be a chance that she's willing to take."

Chakotay sighs.  I can see that he's kicking himself for not understanding sooner.  He leans forward:

"What do I do?"

"I don't know," I reply.  "That's a choice that you have to make."  I pause to take a bite:  "The way I see it, you have two choices...  You can give up, or you can tell her how you feel and leave it up to her."  Chakotay nods solemnly.  "But she might not be ready:  you might end up pushing her even farther away.  That's just a chance that you're going to have to take."  I notice that Tom has entered the room, is approaching us.  Chakotay sees him too:

"Thanks, B'Elanna," he stands.  "You've given me a lot to think about.  I'll see you later."  Chakotay walks past Tom, not even acknowledging the younger man.  Tom watches him leave.

"What's with him?" my husband asks, sitting down across from me.  I smile:

"He just needed to talk," I answer cryptically.

"About what?"

"That's none of your business," I shoot back.  He pulls back a little, but I reach across the table, taking his hand.  He suddenly realizes that I'm just teasing, and leans forward again:  "Let's just say that a lot of replicator rations are about to be changing hands."  Tom grins.
 
 
 
Peeping Tom, Shroy Tuvok ~ part viii
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