by K.N. Senko

Disclaimer:  Paramount and Viacom own Star Trek (oh the pain, the pain):  they would never inflict this kind of pain on Captain Janeway and her crew.
 
 
 
Back to Day 4
 
 
 
Day Five

The noise was incredible.  She had been able to tune it out at every other meal.  It had been easy:  all she had to do was focus on the person she was eating with and the sounds of her entire crew talking at once would fade into the background.  No such luck today.

Kathryn tried to push through the mayhem that filled the mess hall.  She lifted her tray as she passed between the benches of crewmen, lowered it as she reached an aisle.  They all looked so happy:  oblivious to her distress.  She desperately longed to be far away from these voices that besieged her.

Finally, she found a seat in a relatively secluded corner, blissfully quiet compared to the rest of the room.  As she sat down, she suddenly realized how grateful she was that her dress still disguised her 'condition.'  She still wasn't sure how to explain this to the crew, and was far from ready to provide an explanation.  What was worse, her anchor, her only companion when she was in distress, still wasn't speaking to her.

Oh, how she longed to hear Chakotay's voice right now.  She tried to casually search the room for his face.  She found him easily.  Unfortunately, he was staring at her.  She looked away quickly, ashamed to be caught in the act.  Another quick glance revealed that he was just as chagrined that he had given into the urge to stare at her.  He tried to look away, but couldn't seem to help but look back to her every few moments.  Kathryn forced herself to stare at her plate.

Not for the first time since Voyager had been thrown into the Delta Quadrant, Kathryn felt incredibly alone.  She had dreamed for such a long time of becoming a mother.  But now that it was finally happening to her, she wasn't even on speaking terms with her child's father.  What was even worse was that she now wondered if it would even be right to have this baby.  If things remained as they were, it looked like he wouldn't have a Daddy.  She didn't know if she could raise a child alone and be the captain of a starship.

"Is this seat taken?"  Kathryn looked up, startled.  Tuvok stood before her expectantly.  She lifted a hand to indicate that it was free.

He sat down silently, laying his napkin in his lap and picking up his fork before breaking the silence:

"I have observed that you seem... troubled... this morning, Captain."  Kathryn took a long sip of her drink before replying:

"You might say that," she stated cryptically.

"Am I correct in assuming that it is concerning the altercation last night between you and the Commander?"  Kathryn looked up in surprise.  Tuvok's expression remained as impassive as ever.

"Where did you hear about that?"

"Mr. Paris and Kim were discussing it last night with Mr. Neelix in our cabin."

"News travels quickly."

"Indeed," Tuvok agreed.

"I don't know what to do, Tuvok."

"Perhaps it would be of assistance to you if you discussed the situation."

"It probably would..." she drifted off.  A pause ensued.

"Yet you do not wish to converse with me on the subject?" Tuvok concluded.  Kathryn didn't answer.  "Then I shall go elsewhere and allow you to eat alone," Tuvok began to stand.

"No," she lifted a hand:  "I don't want to talk about it, Tuvok, but I need to, and you're the only person..."  She stopped, looking up to him:  "Please stay."  Tuvok nodded:

"As you wish."  He sat down:  "Whenever you are ready."  Kathryn nodded and took a deep breath, eyes closed.  She opened them again, looking at Tuvok:

"I don't even know where to start."

"You are questioning your decision to proceed in a relationship with the Commander?"  Why was she not surprised that he knew about that?

"Yes, yes I am," she answered.  "But it isn't quite that easy, Tuvok."  A pause:  "It would seem that the Commander no longer wishes to pursue a relationship."  Tuvok raised an eyebrow:

"Fascinating," he stated.  "You did not tell the Commander that he is the father of your child."  She was surprised, however that he knew about that:

"Tuvok, how...?"

"Captain:  I am the father of three children.  I am no stranger to the miracle of a new life beginning."

"Yes, but Chakotay and I..." she paused uneasily, considering what words to use:  "Contrary to the rumors, we haven't..." she just couldn't finish it.

"Captain:  I am aware that you have not been sexually active since our arrival in the Delta Quadrant.  I am also aware that shortly before you arrived here, you were being treated due to the fact that you refused to initiate intimate relations with the Commander.

"After observing your behavior the past few days, I concluded that you are with child.  In light of your advanced state of pregnancy and the injections that you and other women of the crew are given each morning, I determined that you were impregnated through artificial insemination and that your reproductive processes have been accelerated.

"The only logical conclusion is that the Commander unknowingly participated in the conception of your child.  He was designated as your companion, is the only individual who has had the opportunity to impregnate you in the past five days, and is also the only person I believe you would consider as the father of any children you would choose to have."  Janeway lowered her face into her hands:

"The crew?"

"To the best of my knowledge, Captain, the crew is as unaware of the situation as you were twenty-four hours ago.  However, I assure you that any decision to further your relationship with Commander Chakotay would be accepted by the crew."

"You think so, Tuvok?"

"Indeed:  in fact, I believe that they would strongly support it."

"I wish that it were as easy as it sounds when you say it, Tuvok," she stated softly.

"If I may, Captain:  when is this child to be delivered?"

"In about four days."

"Fascinating," he noted.  "The human reproduction rate has been multiplied by approximately 28.475 times.  It is surprising that this is possible at all."

"I feel like it cheapens the experience."

"Captain, the situation you and the Commander are in is not ideal, but it is also not void of a unique bond.  I also believe that the Commander will be more accepting than you think."

"I hope so, Tuvok," Kathryn paused:  "Thank you."

"Captain?" Tuvok asked in confusion.

"For listening."  Tuvok nodded his understanding:

"You are welcome, Captain."

As Tuvok stood and left, Kathryn lay her left hand over the life she held within, beneath the table and discreetly hidden from any inquiring eyes that could be watching.  She received a kick in return, and Kathryn bit her lip, desperately trying not to cry.

Emotions flooded through her:  doubt filled her mind, joy at these sensations, wonder at how she could possibly be carrying Chakotay's child...  But all at once, Kathryn was absolutely certain of one thing:  she was going to have this baby.

The new life she now carried was a part of her and Chakotay, and even if he decided not to take part in his child's life, she was not about to lose this miracle.  She still loved Chakotay, and she was going to have his child.  Somehow, Kathryn would do it.
 
 
 

Chakotay tried--again--to divert his attention away from his captain, but found himself to be less than successful.  He was completely oblivious to the rest of the world as Kathryn stood and crossed the room, travelling toward the recycler.  He strained his neck, trying to see if he she was showing.  She was just too far away.

Chakotay forced himself to look away, trying desperately to think of nothing but the food that sat in front of him.  But even though he wasn't looking at her, he couldn't stop thinking about her.  In fact, he had absolutely no interest in eating, he was so upset.  Chakotay set his fork down and sighed.

"My invitation still stands, Commander."

Chakotay almost jumped out of his skin.  Kathryn stood before him.  He had been trying so hard to forget about her that he hadn't even noticed her approach.

She was showing.  Not enough for anyone to notice had they not been looking for it, mind you, but enough for him to see.  Her clothing hid it well, but he knew her well enough to see it...

Kathryn crossed her arms over her waist, sensing his inquisitive eyes upon her.  Chakotay turned back to his plate, picking up his fork again:

"My schedule hasn't changed," he answered.  There was a pause:

"I see," she answered softly.  "I'll see you tonight at the briefing."

Chakotay was already kicking himself mentally.  He watched her leave the mess hall.  Even after she had moved out of his view, she was still in his thoughts. It just didn't make any sense.  What had she said?  'I'm pregnant.'  She had just blurted it out:  had she expected him to be happy?  To accept the child as his own?  And who was the father?  She had held him at arm's length for so long that he had just assumed that there was no one else...

Was there anyone else?  How could there be?  She never had the time:  she was always working, and even when she was off duty she was almost always either with him or alone.

"Chakotay."  He looked up and suddenly realized that B'Elanna was talking to him.  She was seated next to Tom at the other end of the table, holding a glass of water:  "What in the world did you two fight about?" Blue:  she was wearing blue.  Just like Kathryn.  B'Elanna took a gulp of the clear liquid.  What had he read about klingon females drinking inordinate amounts of water?  Chakotay searched his mind, trying to remember.

Suddenly, it hit him.  He nearly dropped his fork.  It was so obvious:  their confinement together, Kathryn's night in sickbay, the shuttlecraft...  Why hadn't he seen it sooner?

He was the father.

"I just can't figure you two out," Tom announced:  "first she was mad at you, then you make up, and now this..."  Chakotay didn't even hear them.  He stood up and left as fast as possible, brushing past Kim, who was just arriving with his food:

"Excuse me..." he mumbled.

"Chakotay?" Tom glanced at the plate full of food that Chakotay hadn't even recycled and then turned back to see him push through a group of crewmembers that were standing to leave.

"Where's he going?" Harry asked.  But Chakotay was already out the door.
 
 
 

It took Kathryn a few moments to manage to climb onto the biobed--why did they have to make these things so high?--then she attempted to lie down in a comfortable position.  As she waited, Kathryn found herself thinking about Chakotay again.  Oh, how she wished he were here.

Kathryn was pulled from her reverie when the doctor elevated the back of the bed so she could see better.  Talitha held a scanner in her left hand and adjusted the equipment with her free hand.  Then she turned the screen on and moved back so Kathryn could see.  It only took a few moments for the screen to come in focus.  Kathryn's breath caught in her throat as emotions flooded over her.

She could see her baby.

"There's the head," Talitha pointed.  "One of the hands."  Kathryn smiled when she felt and saw him move at the same time:  "Sure is an active one."

Suddenly, someone took Kathryn's left hand, swallowing it in their own.  Kathryn looked up:

"Chakotay," she exclaimed softly:  "you came."  Chakotay kissed Kathryn on the top of the head:

"He's beautiful, Kathryn," he whispered.  Kathryn turned back to the image of her unborn child.  Neither spoke for what seemed like a long time:

"He's yours," she finally pronounced.

"I know, Kathryn," he whispered.  Kathryn turned to find that tears were streaming down his cheeks:  "I'm sorry, Kathryn:  I'm so sorry."  Kathryn reached up for him and they embraced, both crying.  Doctor Talitha cleared her throat, and Chakotay pulled away.

"After your baby is born, they will take the child from you," she stated.

"What would you suggest, Doctor?" Chakotay asked, a hint of sarcasm in his voice.  Talitha turned away to turn off the screen:

"I would suggest that you try to escape."  Kathryn and Chakotay looked to her in surprise.  "That is what I would do, if I were in your place.  Surely you have began plans already," she turned away to prepare Janeway's injection:  "You are a resourceful people," she stated:  "I have no doubt that you will succeed."  She turned and placed the hypospray on Janeway's wrist, injecting the medication:  "You may go now."

Chakotay and Kathryn left the room hand in hand.  The doors slid open, but Kathryn stopped in the doorway.  Chakotay looked to her, question in his eyes.  She looked back:

"Doctor, what would happen to the women who are pregnant if they were to stop taking their injections?"  Talitha approached the couple, hypospray still in hand:

"Once treatments stop, their reproductive processes will slow to their normal speed," she answered.  "Your crewmembers will have healthy babies whether they continue the treatments or not."

"Thank you, Doctor."

"I'll see you tomorrow."
 
 
 

"I couldn't sleep last night," he admitted:  "couldn't stop thinking about you... the baby.  And then this morning, it just hit me."  He took her hand:  "You didn't tell me."

"I tried to, Chakotay," she paused:  "You didn't want to know the truth."  He looked away, cursing himself inside.  He looked back, their eyes meeting:

"I'm sorry."  Kathryn closed the distance between them:

"It's alright, Chakotay," she whispered.  "I forgive you."  Chakotay took her into his arms.  Neither of them said anything for what seemed like a long time.  Suddenly, he realized that Kathryn was crying:

"Hey," he pulled away enough to see her face:  "what's wrong?"

"I'm afraid."

"Why?" he asked.

"Because I don't want to lose this baby, Chakotay," she stopped:  "our baby."  She looked away:  "They're going to take them all from us."

"Then we're going to have to get to Voyager before that can happen," his words brought her back to him.

"But what if ours comes before...?"  He sighed:

"I won't let them, Kathryn," he answered.  "No matter what happens, I won't let them take our baby away from us."  Chakotay pulled her closer, lending Kathryn the only comfort she could probably feel at a time like this.  But inside, he was just as scared as she was.
 
 
 

The day's hard work showed on the faces of the table's occupants:  in their drooped soldiers, the frowns that seemed to be permanently etched into their faces.  Even Tuvok looked tired.  As people began to push back their plates, Chakotay watched the woman he loved stand and clear her throat, one hand on her hip:

"Well, now that everyone is almost done, I suggest that we begin the briefing.  Mr. Kim:  what have you found?"

"I was able to obtain a tricorder in the mines..." he paused:  "I don't know what happened to it in the cave-in."  Kathryn had began circling the table, walking behind her officers as Kim spoke, and now stopped to sympathetically lay a hand on the young man's shoulder.

"Commander Tuvok has given me the device and I have been familiarizing myself with the tool," Seven supplied a bit sharply.  She paused, frowning:  "It works in a similar fashion to a federation tricorder, but I am experiencing difficulty in translating this species' language."  Janeway nodded and crossed her arms:

"What else have you found?"

"I've finished my visual examination of the security network," Torres answered.  "We should be able to disable the entire security network at a single control point."  Chakotay watched as Kathryn tried not to smile.  She continued her pacing.

"A logical plan," Tuvok put in.  "We would then be able to depart before there has been an opportunity for our captors to retaliate or raise the forcefields again."

"Agreed," Janeway stated.  She stopped, back at the head of the table:  "Tuvok, if possible, I want for you to find out what it was that enabled these people to capture us and Voyager, and find some way to counteract their strategy, or weapon, as the case may be.

"Seven," she continued after Tuvok nodded his understanding.  "Keep working on the tricorder.  I want you and B'Elanna to find a way to disable the shields that are keeping us here:  use whatever personnel you need.  I also want to know exactly where Voyager is so Tom can determine the quickest escape route."

"Understood."

"Of course, Captain."

"Captain, I have a question," Neelix interrupted:  "You have seen the shuttles, and it's obvious that they're out in the open.  How are we going to get the crew to them without the guards noticing and attacking?"

"If I may," Tuvok answered.  "I suggest that we proceed at a time when our captors least expect it."

"When would that be?" Harry asked.

"I would advise that we depart on the ninth night."  Chakotay's head shot up:  Tuvok knew?

"And why the ninth night, Tuvok?" Tom asked, arms crossed.  "Wouldn't it make just as much sense to leave on the eighth or the tenth?"

"Lieutenant," Kathryn stated this word in such a way that Tom clearly got the message; he shut up.  She turned back to Tuvok, seemingly unfazed, and Chakotay suddenly realized that she had known that Tuvok knew.  He could also tell that she was uncomfortable at this mention of it.  Kathryn continued:  "I agree with your recommendation, Co..."

"Captain," Seven interrupted.  "I concur with Lieutenant Paris:  given the information, there is no validity of Commander Tuvok's statement..."

"Seven," Janeway cut her off, obviously at the end of her rope.  "It's been a long day, and I have no intention of explaining..."

"Captain," Chakotay broke in.  "perhaps the senior staff's questions will be more easily answered when you make your announcement in the morning."

He didn't look away as she turned to face him.  He wouldn't back down when he knew that he was right, that she needed to tell them.  But as her eyes locked with his, he suddenly he realized that the reason she had been uncomfortable about the mention of the ninth night was because she didn't know how to tell the crew.

"What announcement?" Neelix broke the silence.  Kathryn looked away, obviously thrown off guard by Chakotay's statement.  Obviously to Chakotay, that was.

"I couldn't agree more, Commander," she managed.  She turned back to the rest of the crew:  "Dismissed."

The majority of the officers that had been seated around the table departed whispering amongst themselves.  Within moments, the entire mess hall was empty with the exception of Voyager's captain, first officer, and a departing chief of security.  Kathryn turned and sat on the edge of the table, lifting her right hand to massage the bridge of her nose:

"Tuvok," her hand involuntarily dropped to rest on her stomach as her second-in-command stopped and turned to face her:  "please inform the crew that their presence is required during tomorrow's morning meal."

"Aye, Captain," Tuvok turned to leave.  Chakotay watched the vulcan depart, then stood:

"You didn't tell me that you told Tuvok," he stated as he moved to stand in front of her.  Kathryn's shoulders sagged:

"I didn't," she answered:  "I didn't have to:  he already knew."

"I see."

"Speaking of which..."  Kathryn placed a hand on her hip:  "It seems that my first officer has decided that his captain needs to inform the crew of our situation."  He paused, looking away for a moment, considering her words:

"They deserve to find out from their captain, Kathryn."  She crossed her arms:

"I had a feeling you'd say that," she sighed.  "What am I supposed to tell them?"

"The truth always works," he stated with a smile.  Kathryn playfully lifted a hand to slap him:

"I should demote you."  Chakotay had ducked, but now stepped even closer, self-assuredly asking:

"And where are you going to find a new first officer in the Delta Quadrant?"

"Oh, I didn't say that you would be assigned to another department," she answered:  "just busted to ensign."  She slugged him in the arm.

"Ow!  Something tells me that I would have a hard time ordering the junior officers around."

"Oh, I know you'd manage..."  Chakotay wasn't sure who initiated the kiss.  Their lips had been only inches apart, and then they were suddenly in each other's arms.  It seemed strange, to be kissing Kathryn.  He had wanted to for almost as long as he could remember, but now...

Chakotay forced himself to break away:

"Kathryn, the crew..."

"Isn't here right now."

Kathryn pulled his head down, causing their lips to meet again, kissing him even more passionately than before.  She pulled away a few moments later:

"I love you, Kathryn."

"Flattery will get you no where, Commander."

"Understood, sir."  She slapped his arm again, but didn't retort.  Their eyes met, and Chakotay brushed her hair out of her face, caressing her cheek.  Chakotay leaned down and kissed her gently.  Then he pulled away and she spoke in a whisper:

"Good night, Chakotay."

"Leaving so soon?" he asked, falling into step beside her as she headed for the nearest exit.

"Someone has to."

"I'll see you in the morning?"

"Of course."

"I'll pick you up early."

"Escorting me shall suffice."

"Ah...  You take all the fun out of it."

"Good night, Chakotay."

"Good night, Captain."
 
 
 
On to Day 6