by K.N. Senko

Disclaimer:  Paramount and Viacom own Star Trek (oh the pain, the pain):  they would never inflict this kind of pain on Captain Janeway and her crew.
 
 
 
Back to Day 6
 
 
 
Day Seven

Kathryn stirred in her sleep, resisting the knowledge that she was going to have to wake up soon.  She finally resigned herself to the fact and gingerly rolled over to face away from the wall, allowing her blanket to settle around her shoulders, baring her face to the outside world.  Light was streaming in the windows.

"Good morning, Captain," a pair of legs stepped in front of Kathryn's face.  She looked up.  B'Elanna, radiant in her newfound motherhood, and Seven, holding a tray:  "Ready for breakfast in bed?" B'Elanna asked.  Kathryn sat up, still sluggish:

"What time is it?"  B'Elanna adjusted the pillow behind her back.  Kathryn placed her hand on her abdomen, which--once again--seemed to have grown overwhelming large overnight.  In reality, the baby hadn't grown much during her sleep, but she still wasn't used to her size which (in her eyes) seemed to be growing exponentially.  She felt even more awkward than she had the previous morning.

"It is 1000 hours," Seven placed the tray on her lap:  or what was left of it.

"What?" Kathryn sat up straighter, surprised.

"Seven and I decided to let you sleep in," B'Elanna smiled as she sat on the edge of the bed.

"But why?"

"We have observed the difficulty you have experienced trying to sleep at night, Captain," Seven informed her.

"We know how hard this has been for you," B'Elanna agreed.  "And Chakotay told us about the Doctor's orders..."  Kathryn nodded her understanding:

"Still, you didn't have to..."

"Yes, we did."

"It is our way to say thank you, Captain," Seven supplied.

"For what?"

"For everything you've done."

"What I've done?" Kathryn replied lamely.

"You've held this crew together," B'Elanna answered.  "You believed in me, in Seven, in each and every member of your crew:  even when no one else would."

"You have given us hope," Seven concluded.  Kathryn swallowed:

"I've only done what any other captain would," she replied, tears threatening to overflow.

"You've performed above and beyond the call of duty," B'Elanna answered.  "Thank you."  Kathryn didn't know what to say:

"Thank you," she finally managed to state softly.  B'Elanna smiled, then frowned, pointing to Janeway's tray:

"You haven't seen anything yet," she observed.  "Eat."

Kathryn nodded and picked up her fork.

"Whatever you say, sir," she teased, offering a mock salute.  "It looks delicious."

"Then you shall have no difficulty carrying out Lieutenant Torres' orders," Seven observed dryly.  Kathryn smiled.
 
 
 

"No:  I left hours ago!" Kathryn's voice came from the next room.  Chakotay smiled, crossed the room, and stepped through the open door into the bathroom.  His mouth dropped open:

"I'm sorry," he turned to leave.

"No, Chakotay," Kathryn called out:  "It's alright.  Come in."  Chakotay turned around hesitantly, once again taking in the sight of Kathryn sitting in the tub.  She held out a hand to him.

He took in the sight slowly:  savoring her beauty.  Kathryn's hair was loosely pinned up so it wouldn't get wet.  She was fully emersed, bubbles covering what the water did not.  Her round stomach peeked out of the warm bath, reminding him of the new life that she held within:  a life that they shared.

Chakotay squeezed Kathryn's hand, then sat down beside the tub.

"I hear that you're going to kidnap me this afternoon," she began.  Chakotay nodded:

"I thought that we could go for a picnic," he confirmed.  "But of course if you rather be alone..."

"Chakotay," she cut him off:  "I'd love to go on a picnic with you."

That was when he placed her hand on her tummy.  He barely noticed that she had stopped talking:  he was too overwhelmed with the movements Kathryn held within.  The baby seemed to squirm at his touch, then jab back in retaliation to the invasion of his privacy.  That was when Chakotay realized what he was doing:  he pulled his hand away, embarrassed:

"I'm sorry," he stood:  "I didn't mean to..."  Chakotay turned and left the bathroom.

"Chakotay," Kathryn called after him.  He could hear the water slosh as she climbed out of the tub, and could feel her behind him, even before she laid a hand on his shoulder:  "It's alright, Chakotay."

"No, it isn't," he replied forcefully.  He turned back to find her wrapped in a towel:  "You aren't my wife, and I have no right..."

"But I want to share this with you, Chakotay," she took his hand and placed it over the life she held within:  "You are the father of my child, and I want to share this with you."  He pulled away:

"I'm not your husband, Kathryn."

"Chakotay..."  Chakotay placed his hands on her arms:

"I don't want to hurt you," he paused:  "there's too much at stake."

"I trust you, Chakotay," she answered.  "I know that you would never intentionally do anything to hurt me."

"I love you, Kathryn."

"I know, Chakotay:  that's part of why I want to share this with you so much."  He didn't reply, suddenly realizing that she was standing before him, sopping wet, wrapped in only a towel:

"I'm sorry," he looked away.  She lifted a hand to his cheek, turning him to face her:

"What?"

"I made you get out of your bath.  I'm supposed to be making sure you relax, and instead I'm disturbing you."  Kathryn shook her head:

"It's alright, Chakotay."

"Your water's getting cold," he commented.  "You should go back."  Kathryn smiled:

"You don't have to tell me twice."  She turned and padded back to the bathroom, pausing in the doorway:  "See you soon?"

Chakotay watched her leave the room:

"Wouldn't miss it," he said softly.
 
 
 

"Who let all of you in?" Kathryn asked.

"We were with Neelix..." Rebi began.

"...but he is now speaking with the Commander," Azan finished.

"We know that we aren't supposed to be here," Naomi stated, "but I wanted to see you."

"Well, what a nice surprise," Kathryn smiled.  "Won't you all sit down."  The twins sat down on Seven's bed, but Mezoti and Icheb remained standing:

"Thank you, Captain, but I prefer to stand," Icheb answered.  Mezoti stepped closer to the Captain:

"Are you feeling all right, Captain?"

"I'm fine, Mezoti, why?"

"You look strange."

"Mezoti."  She looked up at Icheb, who frowned at her, shaking his head.

"It's all right, Icheb," Janeway answered.  She turned back to the girl:  "Why do you say that, Mezoti?"

"Because your stomach has grown," she answered simply.  "I have seen several of the female crewmembers who look the same way:  they are acting strangely."

"No they aren't," Naomi said.

"Yes:  they are," Mezoti retorted calmly.  Kathryn smiled:

"I'm sure that some of them are," she admitted, "but there's nothing wrong with me."

"Then why is your stomach so large?"

"Because, she's pregnant, that's why!" Naomi answered.

"Pregnant," Azan stated.  Rebi continued:

"Having a child or other offspring developing in the body."

"Abounding."

"Fertile..."  Kathryn laughed, and the twins stopped spouting the definition:

"Well, those things are all true, but I'm not sure what offspring I could be carrying if it weren't a child."

"I still don't understand," Mezoti interrupted.  "What do any of those things have to do with you having a child?"

"My baby is growing inside me."

"You have a maturation chamber inside of you?" Rebi asked.  Kathryn smiled:

"Not exactly."

"Only the borg use maturation chambers," Icheb answered.

"The Captain's baby is growing inside her, just like I grew inside my mother's tummy," Naomi explained.

"Will the baby look like our sister?" Azan asked.

"In a way, yes."

"Commander Chakotay is the father of your baby?" Mezoti interrupted.  Kathryn paused, but nodded:

"Yes, he is."

"So you have copulated."

"No, my baby was conceived by artificial insemination."

"But the other couples copulated...?" Mezoti was cut off by a new addition to the room.

"Captain?" Chakotay stepped into the room, a confused look on his face.  "What's happening in here?"

"It seems that someone let these vagabonds escape," Janeway smiled.  "We've been having a very interesting conversation."

"There you all are!" Neelix suddenly bustled in:  "Come on, it's time to go!  I'm so sorry, Captain!"

"That's quite all right, Neelix," Kathryn smiled:  "We had fun."  Mezoti stopped and turned to face the Captain again:

"Captain, what happened to our sister?"

"She's been adopted by Joe Carey and Susan Nicoletti."

"Adopted?"

"They're her parents now."

"Like you and the Commander will be the parents of your baby?"

"In a way, yes."

"May I see her again?"

"I see no reason why you couldn't."  Mezoti nodded, seemingly satisfied with this reply:

"Thank you."

"Good bye, Mezoti:  I'd love to see all of you again."

"Good bye."  Neelix led the girl out of the room:

"Bye!" said Naomi.  Azan and Rebi stood and simultaneously lifted their right hands, then turned to go.  Icheb left silently, hands behind his back in a decidedly Seven-esque fashion.  Kathryn laughed.
 
 
 

Chakotay watched Kathryn, who softly repeated the stitches to herself under her breath.  She sat indian style, two long needles in hand and a ball of light blue yarn in her lap.

"How's it coming?" Chakotay asked as he closed the lid of the newly repacked picnic basket.  Chakotay admit it:  he had outdone himself.  The meal had been delicious.  He was stuffed.

"I'm almost half done," she was finishing the row: "Really?  You work fast."  She looked up, a sly smile on her face.  Chakotay looked away, his cheeks turning red.

"I couldn't sleep last night," she explained:  "the baby was too active."

"I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault," she smiled.  Chakotay could have argued that point, but he let it slide.

"Can I see?" he asked.  She let him hold the soft rectangle that formed the beginnings of a blanket.  "What's the pattern?  Snowflakes?"

"Honeycomb, Chakotay," Kathryn moved closer to him, sitting down to lean against him, taking the knitting from him and beginning again.

"I think that it looks like snowflakes," he stated again.  "Snowflakes that are all the same, instead of as unique as each one that falls."  Kathryn kissed him on the cheek:

"Whatever you say, honey."  Chakotay laughed.  Kathryn took the blanket from him and resumed her work.  He looked away, watching the creek that flowed nearby.

"I talked to Neelix this morning," he began.

"Oh?" her needles didn't stop clicking as she replied.

"Several crewmembers have approached him..." he hesitated.

"About?" Kathryn asked.

"Quite a few want to be married."  Her needles clicked on.  That was all there was:  knitting, running water, the breeze rustling in the tree's leaves, and no reply:  "Kathryn?"

"I'm not surprised, Chakotay," she answered softly.

"Captain?" he asked, confused.  She finished the row and set the blanket aside:

"A third of my crew are about to become parents.  We can't continue to live the way we have for the past six years.  We'll need to provide childcare.  Eventually we will need to think about schooling, and training if as young adults our children want to become starfleet officers.

"It's only logical that these same couples would want to get married and start a family, perhaps even having more children in the future..."  Chakotay's thoughts lingered on Kathryn's last words:  more children in the future.  "Chakotay?  Chakotay?"  He suddenly realized that Kathryn was still talking to him:

"I'm sorry, what were you saying?"  More children.

"I said that we would have to rise to the challenge."

"Oh," he tried not to blush.  "I suppose that today is a good time to start."

"Today?" she asked.

"Yes.  A large ceremony in the mess hall would suffice, don't you think?  Of course, they don't have to be married today if they don't want to, but we could give them that option..." he drifted off.

"Of course, today seems to be as good a day as any."  He stood and helped her to her feet:  "No time like the present," she remarked.
 
 
 

Kathryn sat down heavily.  Fifteen weddings:  Tom and B'Elanna had been the first, but eventually she had married thirty people in all.  After the ceremonies they had eaten dinner, which had been peppered with many toasts and congratulations.

Everything was finally wrapping up for the night.  She wondered what time it was.  She had lost all track of time, and it was late.

"Good night, Captain," Harry smiled as he passed her.

"Good night, Harry."  She watched him go, then turned to stretch her legs out across the bench.  She propped her head up on her hand, elbow resting on the table.

"I'm sorry."  She jumped, and turned to find Chakotay sitting down across the aisle from her.  He had startled her:  "I was supposed to be making sure that you were relaxing, not suggesting that you stand for hours."

"It's alright, Chakotay," she replied.  "It was something that needed to be done:  I just wish that my back wasn't complaining so loudly.  Or my feet."  She grimaced as she wiggled her swollen toes.

"Let me help you with that," he sat down at her feet and took off one of her shoes.

"Oh, no, you don't have to do that..." that's when he started to massage.  "Oh, ahhhh..."  She let out a sigh of relief, leaning back, one of her hands propping her up on the seat behind her.  "That feels better."

"I'm a little out of practice..."

"No it's perfect, oh, right there!  Oh, that feels good."

"It's just a foot, Kathryn:  you're embarrassing me."

"That foot has been an integral part of the development of your child."

"And how is that?" Chakotay asked as he set down her right foot and moved to her left.

"It just happens to be part of the support structure for this maturation chamber.  Oh, Chakotay, you're too good to me."

"Maturation chamber?" he asked, beginning to apply more pressure.

"Yes, well, this morning I was asked if I have a maturation chamber inside of me."

"I see, so now you think that you're just a machine?"

"One that is in need of maintenance," Kathryn replied.  "Hey, where are you going?  Get back over there!"  Chakotay had stood and was now standing beside her:

"Turn so you're facing away from me," he softly ordered.  She complied, and was instantly relieved to find that his hands helped her back even more than they had her feet.  She laid her forearms on the table and leaned forward, giving him better access to her aching muscles.

"Oh, that feels so much better."

"You're so tense."

"Tense, no:  tired, yes."

"What have you been doing?"

"How about carrying forty extra pounds in front of me?"  She sat up as he began to massage her neck and shoulders:

"You haven't gained that much weight...  Have you?" he asked.

"Chakotay, look at me:  I am a very large almost eight months pregnant.  At least he's settled down a little.  But watch, as soon as I try to go to bed, he's going to be wiggling all over the place.  I don't know how I sleep at all."

Chakotay sat down beside her and kissed her on the neck:

"Thank you," he stated softly.  Her expression softened:

"For what?"

"For doing this for our child.  For doing this for me."

"Chakotay..."  He kissed her before she could say anything else.

It started as something short and sweet, but Kathryn deepened the kiss, longing for more.  She tried to move closer to him, but the table was getting in the way.  She left his embrace for long enough to turn around so that she was facing outward and move close enough to be practically sitting in his lap.  They met each other halfway this time.

Just like last time, the whole world faded away for Kathryn.  All that there was in the universe was Chakotay.  His hands on her body.  The kisses he peppered on her neck.  His scent.  The desire that encompassed her, desire that she didn't know she had or had ever known that it was possible for her to feel.

They tried to stand together without breaking the contact their lips had.  She had no idea what would come next:  she wasn't thinking, she was just acting.  And as he pulled her into his arms, she suddenly realized that something was in between them, keeping their bodies from meshing together the way she wanted them to be able to. Then their unborn child moved, protesting the suddenly closer quarters, and suddenly she came crashing back down to the surface of the planet they were standing on.  Kathryn pulled away:

"No:  stop."  Confusion filled his eyes as she backed out of his arms:

"Kathryn?"

"I'm sorry, Chakotay," she whispered.  "I'm so sorry."

"Did I do something wrong?" he stepped closer, but she held up a hand to stop him:

"No," she shook her head:  "no, you're doing everything perfectly:  but I'm not ready, Chakotay. This is all happening so fast.  I need to wait..."

"Wait?"

"For us... to be together."  Chakotay suddenly realized what she meant:

"Kathryn I wasn't..." he paused.  "I'm sorry, too.  I didn't mean to..."

"I know, Chakotay:  it isn't you," she paused:  "It's me:  if you don't stop now, I'm not going to be able to later."  She turned away:  "I just don't want to make any mistakes, Chakotay."

"Marry me."  She stopped:

"What did you say?"

"I love you, Kathryn."  She turned back to face him:

"Chakotay..."

"Marry me, Kathryn, please."  The silence hung between them as the impact of his words soaked in.  They just stood there, staring at each other.  And then she began to shake her head:

"I can't."  He stepped closer to her:

"Why?"

"Because, I can't, Chakotay.  I just can't marry you, I can't do that to you."

"Kathryn, I love you:  I want to spend the rest of my life with you, and you just can't?!?"

"I'm sorry, Chakotay:  please don't be angry.  Maybe we should just..."  Chakotay turned and began to walk away, but Kathryn hurried to follow him.  "Chakotay, wait!"

He didn't answer, he just walked outside and began walking away from her.  He probably would have kept going, ignoring her petitions, had the barefoot captain not stumbled trying to follow him.

Hearing her cry out as she fell to her knees, little stones cutting into the palms of her hands as she fell forward, he stopped and turned to see what caused her distress.  She picked herself up off the ground, than sat down, rolling up into the closest approximation of a fetal position that her body would allow.  "Chakotay."  She whispered his name, tears beginning to roll down her cheeks.

His heart skipped a beat as he ran back to her, setting a hand on her shoulder:

"Are you hurt?"

"No," she shook her head:  "No, but I'm afraid that I have hurt the person who is the most dear to me and that he will never forgive me."

"Kathryn..."

"I'm sorry, Chakotay:  you have no idea how sorry I am."  He took her into his arms and she began to sob.

He rocked her in his arms as she cried, wondering why.  All his anger melted away as she drifted off to sleep, and he realized that he loved her anyway.  It looked like he was going to have to continue accepting this relationship on her terms for now.
 
 
 
On to Day 8 ~ original version

On to Day 8 ~ rewritten